Most people dislike rejection. It’s a very common, human response to feel upset when you’ve been rejected in some way. Most of the time with the right support and guidance, many people are able to manage these uncomfortable feelings and move on quickly. However, if this feels like the complete opposite of how you feel when you are faced with rejection, you are not alone! You are not too sensitive, like people may have said to you; you may be in the landscape of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.
What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)?
First, let’s define dysphoria. Dysphoria is described as a feeling of “unease or dissatisfaction” in English dictionaries, but in the original Greek, the word is much stronger, and deciphers to “unbearable.” You may have heard the word related to gender dysphoria, another deeply personal experience of intense distress. RSD refers to the tremendous physical and mental suffering that some people experience when they are rejected, criticized or teased, or experience a sense of failure, whether it is genuine or perceived. The response often is disproportionate to the nature of the incident that produced it. This experience is associated with folks who have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (or ADHD).
What are the impacts?
Many folks with RSD develop behaviors and mental health issues that stem from fear of rejection. Self-esteem, fear of failure, and social anxiety are ways that RSD impacts mental health. This affects performance in school and in jobs and even impacts building social relationships and friendships.
Interestingly enough, a component of comprehensive sex education is teaching folks about coping with rejection because it is an important factor in creating relationships of any kind! So RSD can have far reaching effects.
How do you cope?
Taking care of yourself is a priority. Find ways to limit stress and adapt as best you can. Be kind to yourself and try to utilize positive self talk when the RSD voice enters the chat. Therapy with one of our clinicians who is familiar with Neurodiversity and that you click with is helpful too. Learn more about Reese and Kate, affirming therapists here at The Pincus Center and schedule a free 20 minute consultation now!
Interested in learning more about RSD? Check out the class They Must Hate Me: Living with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.